I turned 21 in August and wanted to capture some of the thoughts and insights I’ve had from being on this earth for 21 years. Before I list out some of the lessons I’ve learned, I’d like to provide some context.
I was adopted from El Salvador at the age of 1 and grew up in Massachusetts for most of my life. I got into programming right before high school. Became interested in creative writing and psychology in high school, and up until college considered myself a Taoist.
In college (Washington, DC), I changed majors about 5 or 6 times, but eventually I grew to love business, startups, and economics, and have been doing that ever since. This is what I’ve learned in 21 years (in no particular order):
1. Self-interest is at the heart of all human decision making. When making a decision, be sure to adopt the emotional and intellectual mindset of each party involved.
“It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest.” – Adam Smith
2. In business, if you want something, never reveal to your competitors that you want it. People are always trying to pin down “where you stand” in the industry. If you tell them, not only will they have a negotiating position over you, but they will also be able to manipulate you more easily.
3. In a startup, creating things or rendering a service that benefits other people’s lives is the only thing that matters.
4. If you are making money or becoming successful at something, don’t go out of your way to share that information. In fact, try to put on the show that you aren’t successful and aren’t making money. This will dissuade other people from trying to compete with you.
Once you’ve sold out of the business, then you can share that information. If you go on blogs or take interviews highlighting your success, you will attract competitors to the industry.
5. In every discipline, there are tricks and flashy techniques, but more often than not it is being good at the fundamentals that counts in the long run.
6. Your reputation is everything. It influences who will do business with you, how your customers find you, and what people are willing to do for you.
7. Solve your own problems. Not only will you learn a tremendous amount from solving your own problems, but in most cases, the cavalry isn’t coming anyway.
8. Keep reviewing the fundamentals. In the same way that athletes practice, it’s important every once in a while to review what makes a great startup company even if you are an “expert” on the topic. Don’t believe your own bullshit. You don’t have the magic touch.
9. Always try to do something you think you can’t do. You will grow over time. It’s like how in the gym, by stressing your muscles beyond what they can take, they will grow back stronger after recuperation.
10. There is no such thing as longterm success. Even if you make a lot of money, you will quickly fall out of the public spotlight unless you do something new.
In addition, after earning a lot of money or doing a lot of good in the world, you can only sip so many martinis on the beach until you read about other people in the headlines and have the urge to go out and do something new.
11. Always try to learn a new skill at least once every 2 years. It gives you confidence that you can and expands the range of opportunities you have.
12. Talent and time are purchasable, but passion is not. Never try to force someone to do something you want. Try to inspire them to do something you want.
13. Never openly insult, belittle, or yell at someone. You may need something from them later.
14. Understand the differences between goals & desire VS. vision & commitment. In my experience, a startup is far more synonymous to marriage (commitment) than a one night stand (desire). Even though you may be passionate, there are going to be days where you are literally dragging yourself out of bed and keeping up with the grind. Like marriage, there are ups and downs, but commitment and a vision for the future is what keeps you glued to it.
15. Get in contact with and do nice things for people before you need something from them. When you eventually do need something from them, they will be more likely to listen to you.
16. Build relationships, not one time transactions. This is true of customers and business partners. It saves time and money later down the road.
17. I love this quote:
“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
Take a long-term view. Great things take time. Don’t be stupid about pursing a project that is going no where, but realize that the longer you work on a problem (or for a customer-base), the greater the chances of your success. You will eventually find product-market fit from understanding the problem/customers better than anyone else.
18. Sell or be sold. I don’t necessarily mean in a financial sense. I’m saying you have the opportunity to shape the world and sell your vision for the future, or you can be sold on someone else’s vision and someone else’s idea of the perfect society.
You can either build your own dreams or work for someone else building theirs.
19. Being successful often requires being delusional to a degree. The actions required to have a success, even a small one, are simply not logical given the odds.
20. Never start out with a grand vision. True, a grand vision for a startup or a company will emerge over time, but in my experience, it’s best to start out with the mentality that “This is a cool project. Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. Either way, I’m going to have fun doing it and I care about the problem it addresses for my customer base.”
21. At the end of the day, the only things that matter are: family, friends, and your companion. No matter how successful you are or how much you grow, human connections and love are what make life meaningful. It’s the small things, not the big things.
If you overlook this, you may end up feeling hollow inside. Success is only worthwhile if you can share it with awesome people and empower their dreams as well.