My friends joke with me all the time that I “live under a rock,” have “selective memory” or am “delusional” in some respects. Although this is a funny inside joke that’s completely accurate in many non-business cases, it’s a 100% deliberate choice both in terms of business and self-motivation.

Before, I explain why you absolutely need to create your own reality in order to have success in any area, let’s examine the concept of reality as a whole.

Reality is not constant – it changes based on where you live.

When I was 20 years old, I studied abroad in London, England. Like most students who studied abroad in the UK, I needed to fulfill certain requirements for my college major and wasn’t proficient enough in another language to pick another destination. In addition, I wanted easy-access to other areas of Europe like Italy and France.

Ironically, even though the UK seems the most similar to the USA compared to all of the other countries I’ve visited (China, Guatemala, France, etc), it was living the UK and not other countries which made me realize how much we fool ourselves into thinking that reality is a constant experience.

It’s easy to fall into the delusion of thinking that a certain body type is considered to be beautiful. However, as you travel across the globe, you will find that some societies prize a pasty-white skin completion with a thin body and doll-like face. Others will prize a tanned or voluptuous figure. Just watch the video below on Koran vs. North American beauty standards.

You might think that what is considered beautiful naturally varies from society to society, but it even varies across generations! Check out below on how the “ideal form of beauty” has varied throughout history.

It’s easy to be duped by society into thinking that you should look a certain way, or even that you should work a certain way. In corporate America, a strong work ethic is prized above all else. Executives want to see your car still in the parking lot when they leave for the day and when they arrive in the morning. People talk about how they work “60-80 work weeks” as though it’s something to be admired. We all walk around, smartphones in hand, checking emails, tweets, and answering calls as though the appearance of being busy somehow indicates a high-value lifestyle.

We’ve been brainwashed to believe that the workday should last a certain number of hours and take up X number of days per week, when really other countries take siestas, mid-day breaks, and long holidays. In addition, there is an entire group of entrepreneurs who make multiple six-figure sums and commit to running a “lifestyle business” that only requires minimal hourly devotion, as is described in the bestselling book, The 4-Hour Workweek.

Being in London opened me to the idea of an alternate political system. The House of Lords is not elected. Members are appointed. In addition, gun-carrying is illegal in the UK, and many facets of society that we consider to be controversial like gay and lesbian culture, are far more accepted. In fact, the USA is often seen as being “too religious” by many foreigners.

These may seem like small differences, but it completely opened my mind. What is considered “the norm” or “reality” differs from area to area and time period to time period.

Just because a random person has decided that the solution to a problem is X, doesn’t mean that this solution exists in other areas of the globe, or that it is the best solution.

Just because it might be considered strange to be up late until 3 am and to try to go somewhere to eat pizza in a small suburban town, doesn’t mean that it’s strange in a major metropolitan area.

Do you think it’s “normal” or “safe” to pursue a certain career path, get married at a certain time, or behave in such and such a way? There is a reality that clashes with those values either at a different time in history or at a difference location in the world.

The big eye-opener for me was that not only do these different realities exist in the social or cultural realm, but they also exist in the business or entrepreneurial space.

The Big Myth in Business

As a general rule, all realities are perpetuated by individuals who stand to gain from a world that operates in the way they wish. Don’t believe me?

It might seem like an extreme example, but why do dictators or non-democratic governments maintain a strict control over the media, which could alter the view of what is “normal” in their society? Why do up-and-coming dictatorial powers burn books or texts that clash with their own view of reality? The reason is that they want to perpetuate a certain reality among their people.

Not all perpetuation is this extreme. The media tends to cover sensationalist news stories, which end up affecting every person’s view of the current state of society, only because they want to make more advertising revenue and emotions like “fear” “warning” or “caution” sell news stories.

All created realities serve to benefit those who created them and often those who created them attempt to impose them on others. In the business world, this could take the form of movies that professionals look up to like “Wallstreet” which no-doubt influenced, “The Wolf of Wallstreet,” a real individual who, in interviews I’ve watched, wanted to live out the lifestyle he read and watched about. Unfortunately, him and other members in the financial crisis of 2007-2008 contributed to the suffering of many households.

A perpetuated business reality could also take the form of “tech startup culture” which puts a spotlight on multi-billion dollar exists, IPOs, and rapidly growing companies.

Check out this quote from TechCrunch:

“The VCs, for their part, fight back more quietly. They point out that very few angel funded startups end up very big or interesting. “An entire generation of entrepreneurs are building dipshit companies and hoping that they sell to Google for $25 million,” lamented a venture capitalist to me recently. He believes that angel investors are pushing entrepreneurs to think small, and avoid the home run swings. And you don’t get a home run unless you swing hard, he says. When you play it safe you nearly always lose.” – Source.

No doubt, selling for $25 million to google is a horrible outcome for a VC, who is hoping for a 10x return. By emphasizing the need to “swing for the fences” and build the ideal rapidly growing tech startup, VCs ensure better overall deal-flow, which is part of how they make money!

On the other side of the fence, there are “lifestyle entrepreneurs” who say that you should build a business that is fully automated, which you can operate from anywhere. You should then use the time to travel the world and life a “million-dollar lifestyle,” only to then add that you should join their $1,000 per month mastermind group or buy such and such a product to help you on your travels.

The big myth in business is that: You need to have such and such a goal and such a such a mentality. The big myth is that “consumer startups are hot” or that “enterprise startups are hot,” so you should build one of those.

The reality in business is that: As long as you provide value to other people and are able to monetize it, you can create any kind of business culture you want for you or your employees. However, working to be successful on some scale is a requirement.

Sell Your Own Reality, Don’t Buy Other People’s

There are two types of people in the world – people who are selling a reality or touting “how the world should be” and people who are consuming or accepting that viewpoint.

Don’t be the latter. I’m not saying you shouldn’t incorporate great ideas into your own view of the world or to improve your life. I’m saying that you should do so, but never an entire world-perspective. Always examine whether you believe something or whether a solution to a problem makes sense.

In order to have success in any area, whether that’s business, fitness, or relationships, it’s important to explore what you value and what standards you want to set for your life.

Maybe all of your life, your parents or your siblings loved regularly eating unhealthy foods and avoided cooking natural foods. Will you be the one to make it “normal” to eat healthy foods instead and for it to be abnormal to have the occasional cookie in your household?

Will it be normal for you to wake up at 8 am each day and do a 3 mile run 5 days a week?

Will you set the standard of working, at minimum, 20 hours per week on your own business, after you’ve gotten done working for your employer?

What is normal for your life is completely in your hands.

It might seem strange, but the more you define and manipulate your present reality, the more likely it will be that you will influence your future success.

As a final note, most people are smart enough to do their own thinking with regards to their own life, but when it comes to building and running a business, I’ve noticed that this doesn’t always translate. Never forget that the values of you and your company will guide both how members of your organization treat customers and how you are viewed in the marketplace. It’s the best form of free marketing that I’ve come across!

Don’t believe me? Check out the amazing values of transparency and happiness that the Buffer team is exhibiting (buffer is a social media scheduling software).