THIS IS AN OLD ARTICLE. I wrote it years ago. Just wanted to release it. Its incomplete.

I graduated from college ~May 20th, 2013 at the age of 21. Going into the spring semester, I had quit one of my first entrepreneurial ventures (——-) and was focusing on another venture (——-) that I had started with a friend of mine, almost a year before.

It’s crazy how difficult it is to remember things, even though it was only a year ago. I remember wondering when I should begin job searching. I was re-learning PHP and ruby on rails at the beginning of the semester. My cofounder(s) of MusicMind and I had decided to form a new company (web development) with the goal of getting generating some revenue that could support ourselves and the music software venture. We decided to market our website building skills and see what happened.

We started getting some clients and building websites. It was my responsibility to secure the clients and my cofounder(s) responsibility to build and design the websites. I also helped out with some of the coding. Although we were getting paid and delivering work, it wasn’t very much on the scale of a professional developer. One of the cofounders decided to leave the company and take a chunk of equity of ——-, which set us back, but we pressed onward, developing new features for the music venture and doing websites on the side.

I distinctly remember getting quiet worried towards the impending graduation. I always assumed I would continue doing my startup part-time while I worked at some interesting startup-related job in the meantime. During that spring, I talked to several recruiters via phone and also applied to this program where young entrepreneurs are mentored by an up-and-coming startup.

My computer skills were marketable, but I didn’t want to be a programmer. I didn’t want to be salesman either and get paid a shitty wage. I ended up formally applying to two or three jobs. The one mistake I made with the first job was I kept saying I had these two skill-sets and people kept asking me which I wanted to focus on and I didn’t have the answer.

Ultimately, I decided I wanted to work more on the business side and I didn’t think my programming chops would be able to cut it at an entry level position, aside from basic front-end work (I also wasn’t as passionate about that at the time).

Around this time, I remember having a discussion with my parents. They thought the entrepreneurship mentoring program was a waste of time because I already knew so much about the startup world. Then, something happened that for some reason I didn’t anticipate but looking back, I think it really guided my decision making process.

We were on the phone and mom said that she thought I should just go for it with the web development company and to try to make it into a full-fledged venture full-time after college. If I had to stay home for a few months to get it up and running, that would be okay.

Considering that my mom is extremely conservative financially, I really took this advice to heart. I started to sort of build myself up inside and ultimately came down to the conclusion: What did I have to lose?

Still, I wanted to make sure that I could prove to friends and family that I could get a job if I wanted to, I was just choosing not to and instead pursuing my startup dream. Therefore, I applied to one more job, focused all my energy on doing well, and eventually was offered a position with the startup company for $50,500/year salary. My role would be to interact with customers, teach them the system, and also wear a few different hats.

At this time, it’s important to remember that —– was doing small amounts of traffic. I had one or two articles hit (go viral), but I wasn’t thinking the blog could be a serious money maker in the longterm. I had started KickstarterForum, but it was super small and doing minimal traffic. I was banking most of my future on the web development company.

Anyway, I turned down the job after some thinking. I distinctly remember being offered the position as I was at this one suit store doing a project for the entrepreneurship class I was in. I thought about it, but then within 24 hours made up my mind and sent them the email.

It’s kind of funny looking back, because my parents definitely freaked out. I don’t think they realized that their encouragement would lead to me turning down a job that had a great annual paycheck for my age and had a good working environment. It’s just counter-intuitive, especially after all the hardships they had heard about on the news regarding recent grads trying to find jobs.

Well – I was committed. I had to make this web development venture fly. Keep in mind also that my cofounder was no longer in the Washington, DC area and he was living at home working on the venture also. I made a decision that since going to Silicon Valley was kind of out of the question with my limited funds, I would go to NYC to get more clients, check out the emerging startup scene, and it also helped that my closest friends from college would be in NYC.

The ultimate plan was for my cofounder and I to live together in NYC, work hard, and establish ourselves. I accepted a part-time virtual job with a friend of mine with the goal to help him get clients for his mobile app/web development company using my contacts and time in NYC. His company had a different speciality than ours.

I went home for a few months during the summer, living off the revenue of a few existing clients, and working from home and cafes. I visited NYC two times to check out places and stayed with my friend’s family. I had no idea what NYC would be like, what the rent was like, where the places to live were, and how I would be able to support myself. 

During the beginning of that summer, it’s also important to note that I started another website, ——-, to help bump up my income as I worked to get the web development company on its feet.

I remember being really afraid at that time, wondering if I would ever make it to NYC. I put a big sign in my room saying that I had to make it there by this date or else I would never make it.

Eventually, things started to come together. I started getting paid at the part time job, got a place for 1 month at $900 rent in Harlem, and moved.

Wow – Looking back it seems so long ago. I lived at that place for 1 month. During that month, through the part time job and my web development company, I was able to support myself. I ate a lot of shitty food and really skimped. I can’t believe how positive I was about the whole thing, but I knew that I needed some other part of the equation or else things weren’t going to work out.

It was becoming increasingly clear that my cofounder wasn’t going to make the trek to NYC and come live. I don’t think he wanted to embrace the risk aspect and it was also a long haul.

I started playing around with different pricing models and formats for ——-. I started getting more orders through that site, which was super encouraging. The clients for the web development company were dwindling and I could tell I needed to get something in place fast. It was also a lot harder than I thought getting web development clients in NYC.

After the month in Harlem was up, where I lived with a 3 other roommates (two girls, one guy), I moved to Long Island City, Queens and lived in a small two bedroom/living room/kitchen place at $800 a month (plus utilities). If memory serves, this place was for two months. I learned from the first place that I absolutely suck at working if I don’t have a good work environment. I couldn’t work on my bed or even in the kitchen of the first place.

The new place had a small desk and thankfully, an air conditioner. It was right on the street, and I kinda worried that at some point someone might break in and steal my stuff haha. I started working at Wix coworking lounge, which helped me be productive. Thank god for Wix. It was free, had free coffee, and was right near a dollar pizza place.

During these months, I attended a lot of networking events trying to get web development work for my venture, the part-time job, and to meet people in the area. I did my best not to drink, to limit my expenses, and got lots and lots of business cards.

Unfortunately, I was not very successful at securing business. Everyone is selling something in NYC and it’s very hard to stand out with services, especially if the developers are not actually in NYC.

Looking back, I hadn’t really thought about this at the time, but I started drinking a lot. I think part of it was a way to cope with the stress and anxiety, and part of it was feeling alone at times.

I was also jugging a relationship, which I should have been more committed to and devoted more time to. The girl I was dating was also having a tough time at her job, but at least for the time being, I thought we were making each other happy.

After the sublet in Astoria, where I roomed with a gay guy (and by default 3-4 of his gay friends who were over a lot) who also happened to do drag, I moved to a place back in Harlem near City College for one month and lived with a bunch of college students.

The college students were very nice, though I didn’t really make any friends. It was becoming more apparent to me how futile my attempts at making friends were becoming, as most of the people I interacted with were > 30 years old. I should have made more of an attempt with this group.

Well, my — business was taking off and my web development company was non-existent. We kind of closed it down at this point, though I was still working part-time for the other web and app development company and going to events to try to get clients.

During this month, I was literally doing anything I needed to do to keep up with the ——- business and even pulled a few all-nighters to get work done.

After this apartment in Harlem (one month – about $850), I moved to Washington Heights, for three months, where I stayed for $800 a month at a pretty decent place. The only thing that sucked about this place was my roommate, who turned out to be a recovering heroin addict with a slew of other problems to boot.

I continued to work at Wix coworking space, at home, and cafes. One thing that really distinguished this period was that I finally had access to a gym that I could go on more of a consistent basis.

Things were going well with the PR company and I was still going to networking events for the part-time job. My relationship was becoming a little rocky, but I enjoyed spending time with the girl and I thought it was okay.

Oh god, the New Years time period was a shit show. Three major events happened all at once that literally paralyzed me in terms of work, everything I was doing, and made me seriously think about going home for a few months to recover.

My girlfriend broke up with me, I learned my roommate was crazy and his mother threatened to keep my security deposit if I moved out, and I lost the part-time job.

I was paralyzed for a good 3 weeks. Sales went down. The worst thing was the break up, which hit me like a ton of bricks and was very unexpected.

I managed to navigate the roommate situation, secure a new place literally 10 blocks away in Hamilton Heights for 3 months I think, and moved in. At this place, I lived with 2 other girls. It was a pretty nice place. I was paying like $900 a month and there was a lot of food nearby.

I made it my mission to save my company and myself. I had been super depressed all this time. I started blogging more consistently, focusing all my attention on ——–, and was able to support myself for those months completely from my own revenue.

I did kind of pay the price, though it was more a symptom of the breakup than my breakdown regarding having to support myself only from the company’s revenue. That was okay, I figured I would either make it or I’d have to get another part-time job or go home and re-group.

I turned to drinking a lot and getting quite drunk off wine, scotch, beer, etc and working late hours. It kind of helped with the pain and kept me going. I remember there were times where I actually browned out for a bit and would complete work that I didn’t remember I did in the morning.

Saying that now, it seems kind of drastic. It was a very bipolar time period. There were days where I was super productive and days where I would stay in bed for most of the day and get little work done.

Ultimately, I realized that I had to get into a different environment where there were more young people. I felt very isolated and like I was in this old neighborhood with lots of deadbeats.

I also new during this time period that I had to do something about ——- because it was eating my soul. It wasn’t running efficiently and I couldn’t find a white-label alternative. I felt like I was always taking two steps forward and one step back and it was driving me insane.

My relationship with the xgf was rocky as shit during this time period also, it was causing me a lot of pain, and finally I decided to forget about her towards the end of it. Surprisingly, I did my best traffic and revenue during this 3 month time period at Hamilton Heights.

Moving to Greenpoint was one of the best decisions I’ve made.